Anna Gorkun
Anna, who is running for parliament.
What have you done for your girlfriend?
Having acquired a veneer of traditionalism, the reins of power and those close to power are increasingly being placed in the hands of either sons who have never smelled gunpowder or eaten a pound of salt, or beauties who see life through the tinted window of a limousine and are convinced that life consists of a succession of yachts, manicures, massages, and rich men.
Meet Anna Gorkun, candidate for single-mandate constituency No. 184.
You'll immediately ask, who is she and what did she do to deserve becoming the people's representative? The answer is simple: nothing.
There's really nothing to say about Anna, other than that she was born in 1982 and, according to her, is the deputy director of the Tavria House of Vintage Cognacs.
I've never worked—in the conventional sense of the word. I was always studying somewhere, mostly abroad.
She never took any part in the life of the city and the region, and if it weren’t for the upcoming elections, most residents of the region would know no more about her than they do about the lunar crater Bailey.
According to Anna, her top priority as a candidate is the interests of her voters. But how does she, a Kyiv resident with absolutely no knowledge of the region's issues and essentially no connection to the territory she's representing, plan to do this? Ideally, the answer should be hidden in her election platform. But unfortunately, it also contains nothing specific for her district. She simply limited herself to general statements about improving life, promises of social and political change, and other such "improvements."
So, it turns out that Anna Gorkun is just a common "bird of passage" from the capital with money, who simply couldn't fit into her district. Or she was sent from Kyiv on the principle of "maybe she'll get away with it," and the foolish voters of the Kherson region will fall for the beautiful words and tempting promises.
Her plan is simple: to try to fill the "new faces" niche, because the Ukrainian voter, tired of meaninglessness, falls for this simple trick every time. Will they fall for it this time? Unlikely; the people don't need "outsiders" who will forget the way to them for five years.
It was precisely these "Anushkas" who made up the bulk of the "button pushers," for whom the need to live under the orders of the Party of Regions did not cause internal conflicts and contradictions.
They are terribly far from the people
The candidate's "list of virtues" also includes a leisurely lifestyle. She doesn't hide her habits from her social media audience and seems to know how to relax like a grown-up. "Second day in Paris, and still not a single new bag... Continuing to practice my willpower," writes Anna Gorkun on her Facebook page. It's surprising that she doesn't use the bags she bought in Paris to campaign for a luxury tax.
Bags and all, Anna isn't shy about flaunting very expensive earrings on billboards. And it's not just her substantial income and the resulting standard of living, which would seem physically impossible to find time for other pursuits. But no: in addition to all her other achievements, Anna Gorkun is also a successful business director.
So goes the legend, which she herself has recently invested considerable effort and money into creating. Her official biography states that she has been deputy director of Tavria for three years.
Do not believe your eyes
But the tales of the "working lady" end after talking to workers at the Tavria cognac factory, where Anna has allegedly been working as deputy director for three years in a row.
These lines in the advertising brochures the candidate is distributing greatly surprised Nova Kakhovka residents. They first saw Anna Gorkun only two weeks ago, on billboards hung around Nova Kakhovka.
Without a doubt, only her enviable diligence, hard work, remarkable health, and natural beauty allowed her to pursue higher education abroad virtually without working, while simultaneously hawking expensive items from boutiques. The result of such superhuman effort was the all-inclusive life she received at age 32.
But since appetite comes with eating, Gorkun's ambitions continue to grow steadily, but now in the realm of politics. Apparently, she believes she's achieved stratospheric heights in business. Now, she has to decide: either run for parliament to stroke her ego, brag to her friends, make her parents proud, and improve her standing in the eyes of her neighbors... or are you truly prepared to stand up for the interests of your constituents.
A little lie breeds great mistrust
And what about the voter? Incidentally, the workers at the Tavria cognac factory asked our correspondent to ask Annushka where her children live. What school does her eldest daughter attend?
We would like to inform you that Anna Gorkun's children live in the same city as their mother – Kyiv. Anna's husband, Taras Gorkun, also works as a rank-and-file manager at Kevstar in the capital.
You'll agree, only a woman's selective logic could have noticed one interesting detail: if Anna works at Tavria (as he writes in his biography), then she's a bad mother, abandoning her children to nannies and her husband. And if Anna is a good mother and lives with her children in Kyiv (which is true), then she deceived the residents of the Kherson region with stories about working as deputy director at the Novaya Kakhovka plant.
Healthy alcohol
Before Anna "landed" in our district, she absolutely didn't care about ordinary Ukrainians, whom she called weak-willed, wild, and alcoholic people in numerous interviews.
Meanwhile, in comments to the online publications Bagnet and Ukrainian News, she, while promoting cheap "wine," urged the same future voters to consume a product of dubious quality: "Who told you that natural wine can't cost 20 hryvnia? It could be cheaper... I'm inclined to believe that Ukrainian wines don't contain powder... they're 'healthy' alcohol. It's even healthy to drink... And the population needs to be gradually educated and their culture raised through a concerted effort."
Conscience is, of course, the best controller, but not everyone is blessed with such wealth. However, who cares what the "rabble" drinks? Even Gorkun, who positions herself as nothing less than a wine "expert," can't distinguish a good drink from ordinary swill: "I'm not prepared to answer that question, as it's difficult to tell the difference by eye. For that information, you'd have to go to a chemical lab to have them test it and tell you whether it's natural or not."
At the very least, this is a strange answer for someone who holds the position of deputy director of Tavria.
Trace of the occupier
Who is sponsoring the young lady and for what? It's certainly possible to guess the "for what," but for some reason Anna Vsevolodovna tries to avoid questions about the sponsor's identity.
Although the origins of financial influences can be seen with the naked eye.
Gorkun's political advertising is most widespread and visible in Nova Kakhovka, whose streets are filled with billboards advertising the Tavria brand and the good deeds it carries out.
It is because of this hidden alcohol advertising that we will never receive any help from Anna Vsevolodovna for the Ukrainian army.
Currently, according to the Agency for the Development of the Stock Market Infrastructure of Ukraine, the Logos Corporation is listed among the founders of PJSC Tavria.
Moreover, as it became known, in addition to a multi-million dollar contract for the supply of finished goods to the Russian Federation, under Yanukovych, she also took over several wineries in the now-occupied Crimea.
As the saying goes, "At home, at home, at home"—why risk your business by angering your new bosses by helping the Ukrainian army, against whom they're waging war? And if they were simply "sympathetic to a brotherly country," that would be half the trouble.
But where is the guarantee that, having received a mandate as a people's deputy of Ukraine, their man will not become a reliable cover for agents and informants of the Russian special services working to destroy the Ukrainian state?
The Magic of Big Names, or the Children of Lieutenant Schmidt
Fraudsters who claim friendships and family ties with famous people to deceive others are not uncommon in Ukrainian politics. Ukrainians are intimidated by famous names, which can be considered a legacy of a totalitarian society.
And now, campaigners working for Anna Gorkun have been ordered to tell everyone that she is a relative of Petro Poroshenko's wife. This, of course, is unknown to the President himself, his wife, or his wife's relatives.
In Ukrainian reality, this has always been the case; only the facade changes. If Yanukovych were in Ukraine, Anna would likely be considered a relative. And given the pro-Russian roots of Gorkun's funding, it's possible she's being used to conduct a targeted campaign to discredit the elections and the President in general. Clearly, young women in the political arena can only cause irritation and a reluctance to vote.
In the dry residue
We discussed above who benefits from the apathy of the electorate in a state of undeclared war.
The people of Ukraine hope to change the system by rebooting parliament. But this requires everyone to be in their right place: the cook in the kitchen, the teacher in the classroom, the dancer on stage, and the mistress in bed.
Young women, due to a lack of life and professional experience, cannot be trusted to occupy positions of responsibility and perform complex functions.
There is such a qualification in law enforcement agencies, and the level of responsibility there is quite high, comparable to that of a legislator.
Why do we need another Taisiya Povaliy from the defunct Party of Regions, who doesn't understand the most basic things? You can't manage the budget without knowing how to count, or make decisions without a complete understanding of the issue—people could suffer. Our families, friends, and neighbors, for that matter.
Tavriia
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