Bankova is currently pretending not to notice the Dnipropetrovsk oligarch's attack.
Zelensky and the "kvartalshchiki," not without Kolomoisky's knowledge, ridiculed the president. Photo: youtube.com/Studio Kvartal 95
The temporary truce between the president and Ihor Kolomoisky, the Dnipropetrovsk governor he sacked, appears to be over. The disgraced oligarch's controlled television channel, 1+1, has launched an unconventional information war against Petro Poroshenko and the government in general, enlisting the help of Kvartal 95 and its renowned comedic talent.
"It's nothing for you, but it's a pleasure for us."
The first salvos of this war were fired back during the May holidays, when the kvartalniks released two episodes of the comedy series "Fairytale Rus'," parodying the old Soviet comedy "3+2." In the new version, "3" features cartoon characters parodying Petro Poroshenko, Arseniy Yatsenyuk, and Vitali Klitschko, while "2" features parodic Vladimir Putin and Viktor Yanukovych. The peculiarity of both episodes is that Putin and Yanukovych are portrayed, naturally, as villains, while the three Ukrainian leaders are portrayed as helpless victims. Specifically, the parodic Ukrainian president and prime minister receive a punch in the forehead from a cartoon Yanukovych, and the dialogue between the parodic Poroshenko and Putin goes like this: "We'll declare you aggressors!" "So what?" "You don't care, but we're pleased."
"Where are the Evening Default candies?!"
The same trend continued on "Vecherniy Kvartal" last weekend, only the aforementioned trio of Ukrainian leaders is confronted by Ihor Kolomoisky himself. The "Kvartal" crew parodied the night of March 24-25 on Bankova Street, when, after several hours of conversation with the president, the Dnipropetrovsk governor "voluntarily resigned."
The "Kvartal" segment unequivocally denies the voluntary nature of the resignation, but that's not the main point—the main thing is how the characters are portrayed. Kolomoisky is portrayed parodically, but in such a way that his less-than-civilized behavior outside the Ukrtransnafta office is elevated to the level of a cult—a boor, yes, but a strong personality. Meanwhile, Poroshenko, Yatsenyuk, and Klitschko are portrayed as completely helpless and not very bright. Everyone gets it—Yatsenyuk ("Why are you sticking your tongue in economy class?"), Tymoshenko ("I'm not Yulia's disability, you can't take me down"), Klitschko ("Vitali will have a straw... Condensed milk on both sides, emptiness inside"). But most of all, it's Poroshenko.
"You really want to? Then sell Roshen."
"Am I president or not president, after all?" "You see, you have questions about this yourself."
"Why didn't 1+1 air a single story about it after you cursed that poor journalist outside Ukrnafta?" "Tell me, are you smart? When you screw up, do you make a cake to celebrate? Huh? Hey, garage, why aren't you talking?! Where are your 'Evening Default' candies?! Where are your 'Karakum Poroshenko-Groysman' candies?!"
And the apotheosis of anti-government rhetoric in general: "Are you building a country, Petya? But you know you won't succeed? Because we've all gathered here—a donut, a straw, gelatin, flour, sour cream, sugar. You can't make a Kyiv cake out of all this. You know why? You need eggs."
"Laugh at the enemy"
It's hard to believe all this is being done without Kolomoisky's knowledge. Volodymyr Zelensky, the chief quartermaster, is his personal friend, having been a guest at the oligarch's last birthday party in Geneva in February of this year. And the report itself, as we can see, clearly shows that "1+1" is Kolomoisky's channel, which complies with all his demands and remains silent when the oligarch "screws up." Furthermore, a video of the report was posted on Facebook by Kolomoisky's closest ally, Gennady Korban, with a complimentary comment: "I was simply shocked by yesterday's performance by Studio Kvartal-95—bold, subtle, talented, and very funny... With humor like that, you always feel better, healthier, you can drive an enemy beyond Mozhaisk, and then laugh at them."
Interestingly, Bankova isn't reacting to such attacks. Moreover, they haven't paid any attention to them (or are pretending not to). "After the release of 'Kvartal,' there was no reaction from above," a source in the Presidential Administration told us. Meanwhile, a source in the Cabinet of Ministers says Poroshenko may be having trouble responding: "After Kolomoisky's resignation, it became known that the president made verbal commitments, made in the presence of Yatsenyuk and Turchynov, that in exchange for his peaceful resignation, Benya's business would not be touched. And now it's difficult for Poroshenko to openly fight the oligarch."
"Korban was nominated to troll the president."
Meanwhile, a battle is unfolding for a vacant district in the Chernihiv region, where a showdown is expected between the head of the State Property Management Department, Serhiy Berezenko (a presidential protégé), and Ihor Kolomoisky's ally, Gennady Korban. Korban has already officially announced his participation in the race for a parliamentary seat, offering bets on the winner and inviting everyone to watch the Europa League final featuring Dnipro on the big screen in Chernihiv. Berezenko has not yet entered the race, but the president has already appointed him coordinator of the Regional Development Council in the Chernihiv region. His rivals accuse the head of the State Property Management Department of "sowing the district with buckwheat." His team, which previously worked for former Kyiv Mayor Leonid Chernovetskyi, is "sowing buckwheat in the district."
However, the authorities are confident that Berezenko doesn't need such methods. "In the Chernihiv region, candidates approved by the authorities always win," a source in the Cabinet of Ministers told us. "And here we're also talking about the 205th constituency, which was won in the fall by Kulich, the recently appointed governor. Everything there will work in Berezenko's favor. I think Kolomoisky himself understands this, and that's why he nominated Korban solely to troll the president."
Earlier, on March 25, Petro Poroshenko dismissed Ihor Kolomoisky as head of the Dnipropetrovsk Regional State Administration. This followed a week-long conflict surrounding the companies Ukrnafta and Ukrtransnafta, over which Kolomoisky's Privat group is vying for influence.
After his dismissal, Kolomoisky stated that he intended to focus on business and public activities, while Poroshenko noted that there was nothing personal in his decision and called the former governor a patriot.
Immediately after this, the Prosecutor General's Office reopened a 10-year-old criminal case against Igor Kolomoisky on charges of organizing an assassination attempt on lawyer Sergei Karpenko.
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