Rejoice, residents of Tokmak and the Azov region! A circus is coming to your district. And not just any circus, but a political one. In the arena stands a scavenger wolf, a hypnotist, and the owner of a unique "drain tank" that has swept away millions of dollars from gullible investors. Meet the eternal candidate, Alexander Volkov!
There are people who, no matter how hard they try, won't understand even the most obvious hints. Alexander Volkov is one of them. Our antihero's obsession is winning the election. Well, at least some. Well, at least somehow. Well, at least somewhere.
Sasha Volkov's obsession first came to light back in 2010. The Melitopol residents, who were then electing their mayor, were delighted by our circus performer's first performance. Well, "delighted" is a bit of a stretch. In reality, the performance was underwhelming: the Melitopol residents gave the candidate, who was a dull candidate in every sense, a pass.
"Even an old woman can make mistakes," the half-wolf sighed and waited for his next opportunity. The opportunity arrived in 2012: Alexander Volkov shook off two years of dust from his obsession, bristled, bared his teeth, and trotted off to run for the majority seat in his native 80th District.
Melitopol residents are patient people. Sasha failed again, this time racking up a couple of criminal charges along the way. Just to make the point clearer.
And you know what? For a moment, it seemed the hint had actually been understood. The elections were forgotten; at least the Melitopol circus performer didn't run for president (Poroshenko got lucky, don't you think?)
But to keep himself entertained, Sasha got himself into a scam that made his election pranks seem like child's play. This time, it wasn't just a matter of pre-election megalomania—it was a massive fraud that engulfed all of Ukraine and brought grief to more than one family. The company in question was MMCIS, a Ponzi scheme so powerful that it survived open accusations of fraud in numerous financial publications.
The inspiration behind MMCIS was not Volkov himself, but his former classmate Konstantin Kondakov. (Perhaps that's why the new stunt was so successful?) The accomplices, along with another member of the Melitopol circus, Anton Savchenko, registered a sort of "sucker" for the Forex stock exchange. Incidentally, the Forex exchange itself isn't known for its cleanliness and transparency, but MMCIS went much further.
Enterprising young men decided to target not exactly "complete suckers," as they call them in the scam circles close to them. They adopted a more subtle approach. Contrary to old Mavrodi, his followers acknowledged: money doesn't appear out of thin air. But it can be earned! And the "analysts" at MMCIS, by pure chance, backed by supposedly scientific calculations, know who to give the money to so that they make money for themselves and the naive investor. "Bring your money, we'll put it into circulation with those who know how to make money, and then we'll return it to you a hundredfold!"—promises echoed across radio, TV, and billboards.
And all would have been well, except for the problem: practically the only company receiving the money brought in by naive Ukrainians was a shady programming firm called "Internet Global Technology." What did it do? Even now, after the company's demise, no one knows. It seems that even at the height of its frenetic "activity," even its director, Sasha Volkov, didn't know about it. "We serve the largest companies," "We collaborate with Google," "We accept orders of at least $1 million" (though the figure was later "reduced" to $100—it seemed too implausible).
Who are these clients? What do they do? What problems does Internet Global Technology solve for them? No one could answer. Sasha Volkov justified this by citing "trade secrets," while others simply didn't know. But Volkov's brainchild grew by leaps and bounds on the stock exchange. During his tenure, its value increased by no less than 560 times! Other IT specialists shrugged their shoulders: they couldn't understand why a programming firm would need to trade on the stock exchange. Stock market analysts were also perplexed: it looked as if Internet Global Technology shares were only sold during certain hours to certain people. The rest of the time, the company was forgotten, as if it didn't exist.
Such incredible surges finally caught the attention of regulators. And now—finally!—the company is banned from trading on the exchange, and it... simply vanishes into oblivion. Where are the gigantic multi-million-dollar projects that IHT allegedly carried out? Where are the enraged mega-corporations trying to protect their trusted partner?
They're gone. And by all appearances, the only thing the phantom office of the Melitopol intellectual giant (and, judging by his campaign slogans, the father of Ukrainian democracy) was good for was flushing the money collected by MMCIS down the drain. The result was a gigantic toilet bowl built on the latest technology. Looking at the size of the vanished sums, one might even add: gold.
Don't take this incident lightly. The collapse of the Ponzi scheme is burying the lives of its investors. Consider: after MMM collapsed, according to official figures alone, 50 people committed suicide.
We haven't reached that point yet. MMCIS's connections in certain circles proved too strong, and even after the tax police's "masked show" at the Kyiv office, the scam managed to survive. Its founding fathers also survived. All three are still at large.
But either Sasha Volkov sensed trouble, or a long-held complex was resurfacing... Sasha heard the inviting fanfare of the approaching elections. And here he was again, the campaign wolf, the old loser, the eternal candidate, trotting into the election whirlwind.
And rightly so. It's clear that MMCIS doesn't have long to live: stock markets are volatile, and the murky froth will blow off within the next two or three months. The remaining gullible investors will wake up and rush to withdraw their money. What then? Will they perish under the rubble of their own Ponzi scheme?
No, Sasha isn't like that. Especially when he gets a chance to hide behind his parliamentary credentials.
True, our circus performer did draw one conclusion from his Melitopol fiasco: having made a mess of his old home, he decided to move on to a new electoral arena. And now, ahead lies the Tokmak and Azov freelands, where a salty sea breeze blows, sunflower fields sway, and no one, well, practically no one, knows about the candidate's murky high-tech past!
It's just a shame Sasha hasn't had time to change his tune yet. To those stunned by price hikes, expecting a cold and unstable winter, Volkov promises... no, not to boost agriculture. No, not to develop tourism. Not roads, hospitals, and schools, no!
As a gift to the residents of Tokamsk and the Azov region, our fakir has prepared his best gadget yet – a golden toilet with the latest technology. In other words, what the perennial candidate is proposing to two districts of the Zaporizhzhia region is... the development of internet technologies! Let's hope it's not at the expense of the area's residents – old habits rarely change...
This means the election circus in Tokmak and the Azov region this year will be especially exciting. Get ready, a top-notch con artist is coming!
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