elections
These parliamentary elections in the Zaporizhia region have become the last chance for a number of dying specimens of Ukrainian politics. Two prominent groups are the corrupt former Party of Regions officials and the oligarchs' lackeys, who have long worked as caretakers at enterprises they stole. It sometimes happens that in a given constituency, two representatives of this dying dictatorial fauna are vying for a parliamentary seat.
Electoral District No. 79 is unlucky. The candidates here are all better than each other. But the two local sons of Lieutenant Schmidt, Vladimir Bandurov and Alexander Grigorchuk, stand out in particular, turning the district into a battleground for these political impotents who imagine themselves political titans. Taking turns slinging media filth at each other, each imagines himself the frontrunner in the election race, unaware that the district's community has long since "flushed" both of them down the political drain.
Who in Energodar, Vasylivka, Dniprorudne, or Kamianka-Dniprovka doesn't know who Vladimir Bandurov is? Everyone knows this savvy young regionalist, who first sucked at his father's business, then, raised in luxury and permissiveness, became a staunch regionalist, for whom the 2012 elections were rigged and he was elevated to a parliamentary seat.
Volodymyr Bandurov's legacy as a deputy is no secret. In two years, this distinguished legislator co-authored three bills. The hardworking MP must have spent eight months slaving over each of them, perhaps for very important reasons. It turns out Bandurov was extremely concerned about the celebration of the 75th anniversary of the Zaporizhia Oblast, the conversion of summer cottages into residential buildings, and especially the fuel and energy sector. That's it! That's where Bandurov's efforts ended. The same applies to parliamentary inquiries. Bandurov only managed two – one per year. The shy Bandurov didn't even dare speak from the podium of the Verkhovna Rada – the member of Regions only managed to overcome his natural shyness, which made his chubby cheeks rosy, six times.
But everyone in District 79 clearly remembers the 2013 campaign project called "Bandurov's 5 Laws." It included everything from decentralization to support for agricultural producers to rapid socioeconomic development in all districts.
Today, this regionalist antique is once again touring the district's districts, parroting the same old story: decentralization, rural development, the economy. It's no wonder that, during this election campaign, the Energodar self-defense forces planned to personally lust Vladimir Bandurov using the most popular method—throwing him in a trash bin, where he belongs. But, as it turns out, Bandurov is a fast runner. Seeing the self-defense forces, the deputy and his security detail ran so fast their heels sparkled.
But Bandurov still can't seem to calm down—regular meetings with voters, paid interviews, fake opinion polls. It's immediately obvious he urgently needs to hide behind his parliamentary mandate to avoid lustration and a raft of criminal cases brought by the prosecutor's office.
Everything is being used – Bandurov initiates attacks against himself, attracting public attention, complains about the distribution of counter-propaganda materials (who needs you?), and demonstratively walks around with reinforced security. Speaking of security, on October 16, in the village of Magdalenovka in the Orekhiv district of the Zaporizhzhia region, Volodymyr Bandurov's security guards attacked his competitor in the 79th electoral district, Ihor Kryshtop, who was hospitalized in serious condition by an ambulance. This is how Bandurov fights his competitors, once again confirming his Party of Regions roots.
In short, it's nothing but a circus. There's no other way to describe Bandurov's election campaign. Oddly enough, the Party of Regions member isn't alone in his stubborn but hopeless zeal to become a people's deputy. Oleksandr Hryhorchuk, chairman of the trade union committee at the Zaporizhzhia Iron Ore Plant, is not far behind his fellow Party of Regions member in misfortune. It's all the same here – hastily written ratings, paid newspaper publications, and other trappings of complete confidence in victory.
But residents of the 79th district know Alexander Grigorchuk inside and out. He's a typical Soviet official, who spent his entire adult life shuffling papers and living by the principle of "just in case." The ambitious Sasha was picked up by the career wave after the collapse of the Soviet Union, during a period of active oligarchization of industrial production. Thanks to people like Grigorchuk, ZZRK workers fell into corporate servitude to Akhmetov, who received the plant as a nice bonus to Zaporizhstal. Today, Akhmetov needs Grigorchuk as his man in parliament, so Grisha, as he's known in his inner circle, is working his ass off, squeezing everything he can from administrative resources. In essence, the union is openly intimidating the plant's workers, coercing them to vote for Grigorchuk. Every action breeds a reaction, so several initiative groups have already formed within the company, ready to openly spit in the union leader's face. As a result, Grigorchuk could not only lose his parliamentary mandate but also create serious problems for himself in his future relations with the workforce, which is unlikely to please the plant's owners. Overall, it's quite a drama, although again, more like a comedy.
So, throughout the entire election campaign, residents of District 79 have been relentlessly entertained by two political mediocrities competing in pomposity and vanity. But neither will win—the public has already demonstrated its loyalty to far more ambitious and promising individuals. Therefore, Bandurov and Grigorchuk's spectacle won't be long in coming; the circus leaves on October 26th. And with it, two clowns—one to the prosecutor's office, the other, apparently, to the unemployment office.
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