The boy from nowhere
Sergey Martynchuk
Whatever one may say, Kyiv is an important strategic location, the most important in our long-suffering country. And the Pechersk district is central; for Kyiv, it means roughly the same as Kyiv does for Ukraine. Therefore, who leads it is crucial for the city. And as a result of lustration and revolution, it is now headed by a very "experienced" 30-year-old official – Sergei Aleksandrovich Martynchuk. Naturally, residents of the Pechersk district want to know at least a little about the head of their beloved district. What do they do? They Google it, of course. And what do they find? Nothing but the well-known "official" data – when and where he was born, where he received his secondary vocational school, where his higher education was, and where he worked, say, for the last 5-6 years. And that's it! So, there lived a boy named Sergei, and then – bam! – he became the head of the district! He was definitely in the right place at the right time. However, the world is not without good people who have pointed out that before the notorious lustration, Sergei Martynchuk was the head of the Housing and Utilities Department in Solomenka. Furthermore, Sergei himself likes to modestly talk about his military past, saying he fought in Iraq and hinting that he has a fair amount of battle blood on his hands. It's unclear, however, what he could have done in Iraq and, if he did, on which side? It's fashionable these days to boast of military exploits, but talking about very recent battles would be absurd – they'd declassify them in a flash! This is probably why the mythical Iraq arose. Note that there's not a single word about Sergei Martynchuk, a soldier on the Iraqi front, on the internet. There's not a single negative word there; in fact, Martynchuk is called an "experienced official" (and this at 30 years old!). The conclusion is obvious: the defendant either paid the journalist, or simply pressured him (which is more likely – “they,” as a rule, don’t pay), forcing him to write a terse, neutral, and innocuous piece of information on all websites interested in the new head of the Pechersk district.
Knights of Rent
So, what's so interesting about Martynchuk? It's that he behaves like a typical 90s-era gangster—his "oprichniks"—Yarik and Kolyan, who call themselves his deputies, are constantly roaming the neighborhood.
Sergey Martynchuk with Yarik and Kolyan
Incidentally, none of them presented anyone with any documents proving their involvement in the district administration. That is, try as we might, we couldn't find a single person who had seen any document confirming these individuals' involvement in the government. It appears Martynchuk gave them verbal authority, issuing carte blanche for all actions, including blatantly illegal ones. So, the "two of a kind" are successfully pressuring all dissent. Not long ago, they, or rather, their men, brutally beat a Pechersk businessman during a dispute over stalls at the Arsenalna metro station. About 20 people beat the recalcitrant man with sticks; he is currently hospitalized with a traumatic brain injury, a broken nose, and other injuries. Witnesses testified to this in detail – vendors from nearby stalls and stands, frightened and outraged, but still not standing up for the poor guy – it would have been too much for them! Incidentally, Martynchuk still doesn't have a single deputy, although he had numerous, supposedly appointed to these positions by himself, only to be dismissed amid scandal. It would seem that everything is fine – the boy puts his own people in lucrative positions, but even his own can't hold on to them. Well, nothing personal – just business. Moreover, the sources of funding for these "oprichniks" are unclear. Apparently, Martynchuk pays for them out of his own pocket, or, as in the joke about the policeman, "they give you a gun and you're on your way." They must be doing quite a bit of business, since these guys cruise around in expensive SUVs, which a civil servant's salary, even if there were one, would never be able to buy. And anyway, Martynchuk and his cronies are only interested in rent, empty premises, and funds. And, perhaps, construction, major purchases, and renovations—anything that can generate kickbacks, bribes, and, in short, make money. For them, the district's problems end there. Seryoga remains the head of the Housing and Utilities Department.
Seryoga is gaining respectability
Since Seryoga is a young guy, he still needs to gain some respectability. That's why he flaunts his big names, even mimicking his older comrades in appearance, particularly President Poroshenko—his demeanor, his speech, even the rosary beads he thoughtfully counts, just like Petro Poroshenko. Admittedly, it all seems ridiculous; Poroshenko is 20 years older, after all, and looks much more respectable, so he has a right to his eccentricities. No, Martynchuk has his own, but a difficult childhood seems to have had a detrimental effect on his imagination—he couldn't come up with anything of his own, so he "imitates his dad." Incidentally, Seryoga generally likes to boast of his close ties to the powers that be. He often cites a high-ranking official who supposedly put him in his current position, thus acting as our boy's patron, or, in common parlance, "protector." Moreover, Serozha often and emphatically talks about his closeness to the country's leader. Yes, yes, Serozha allegedly doesn't take a single step without Petro Poroshenko's approval. Every single day, he spends his days in the dignitary's office, drinking tea with the president, discussing political affairs, and practically kissing him on the gums. The only question is, does Petro Poroshenko know about this closeness? I really would like to know! And his "assistants" also love to show off their famous buddy—they take pictures together and post them on the city administration website. Probably to make it easier for the investigators later.
You have to be more careful
And finally, the subject of this opus is a private conversation, a recording of which was posted online by an unknown woman, Natalya Petrova, who allegedly found a flash drive containing the gems in a cafe. The meeting place was the Arsenal plant's recreation center—so this is where the fate of the city and its citizens is decided!
Here, tired capital city government officials rested and talked about military labors and the president.
The main characters are Seryoga Martynchuk himself, a certain Mikhalych, the base manager, the director of the Arsenal plant, and, of course, Seryoga's loyal henchmen, Kolyan and Yaroslav Bugayev. The conversation, as usual, revolved around politics and politicians. They didn't mince words, apparently counting on complete confidentiality, which in these troubled times doesn't exist and can't exist. In short, you can't trust anyone; as old Müller used to say, "What two people know, even a pig knows." And here they're calling Yatsenyuk and Turchynov kikes, and they're bashing Shvaika, saying he knows as much about agriculture as a pig knows about oranges, and they're planning to take over some building. But the worst of it goes to ATO hero Semyon Semenchenko, accused of having a non-traditional sexual orientation, and in the most brutal terms. In short, listen and be amazed—like a dog bites the hand that feeds it. However, the dog is smarter – it doesn’t chatter, unlike the “serious guy” – Seryoga Martynchuk.
Video transcript (for those who are hard of hearing):
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- May God grant our president to overcome that competition... It’s such a pity to torment your bitch, b...t..
— — And the team...
- Yatsenyuk, Turchinonov.. that’s all... wait for it... no... twist it, damn it...
— Kerivnik to battalion k-1, golden gate... also
- And what’s his name was the faggot? Semyon Semenchenko, damn... he's also a freak, damn... he's already going into politics... to become a deputy...
- Major Semyon Semenchenko...
- The one who’s in the ATO, damn... battalion commander... I just don’t remember which one...
- Most of the time... I was constantly in trouble from being wrapped up, then realizing, damn... young lad... it was all special...
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